I’ve always been a strong person.

I’ve been known as the only top student who hit a guy in the nuts at second grade and another guy in the head with a large chunk of firewood at fourth just because they hurt my best friend.

I’ve been known as a person who will dispute her answer on an exam or recitation when I know I am right.

However, strong as I may be, I had to learn that letting yourself care for someone, loving them, investing your time and effort with them, letting them in— will only make you vulnerable.

I learned it all in a harsh way. It was a nightmare… the dark age of my life. Being betrayed and sold off by a friend— almost a sister.

I’ve always been known as a strong person.

I was then known as the person who stood by what is right… by what is just. I’ve been known as the person who cried a lot but who never stopped fighting fair.

I’ve been known as a survivor.

Being strong doesn’t mean you’ll have to hide inside of yourself to avoid getting hurt. It doesn’t mean you always have to lash out. Being strong means you’re ready to face everything head on and you stay whatever the outcome is.

It is because I am strong that I let myself care yet again.

I was given the responsibility to take care of the most amazing people. To be supervised by a boss that was patient and kind and was willing to fight for her people no matter how subtle her ways were. I started to invest my emotions.

Now after working so hard, it will be taken away from me. When I was able to establish my goal and was about to step up a bit more, I’m being asked to start all over again.

The path ahead of me is unclear. But I will only allow one Dark Age in my life. I’ll cry my heart out for now. Think of the people I started to care about and my uncomfortable future. I’ll think of how they accepted me and how I learned to laugh with them. I’ll think of how, she who was thought to be uncaring fought for me.

These are the people I let inside my heart. And even if I’ve given them this license to cause me pain, I know I’ll be alright…

I just gained more people to talk to when I cry in the future. I just expanded my life support whenever I need it. I got more people to share my happiness and success with. Giving people the license to hurt you helps you in a way— because it is also a license that will bring you smile in your face when you look back at those shining moments. Without feeling the pain of loss, you’ll never fully appreciate love and friendship and hard work.

For these people… for this enlightening experience, I will always thank our Lord God Almighty. His will be done.