Gosh!!!!!!!!!! What a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many things that I prayed not to happen JUST happened and I’m not sure just how to deal with it…. 
I didn’t get my expected grade… our professors were all missing so we were forced to celebrate vacation by hunting them and our cards….

Well…. this was pretty tame but there was one event that made me flattered and really, really annoyed at the same time…

Why is it – that guys cannot be trusted when it comes to platonic love? (note: I DONT HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST ALL GUYS…) but the thing is, according to people I know and whenever I try to make friends with the sons of Adam they turn out to be thinking SOMETHING else towards the daughters of eve who befriended them … I mean, when it happened once or twice, I can still handle it with poise and with my heads up but now that it happened several times I don’t know what to do anymore….

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????? I never meant to make them feel anything else besides friendship… well… as far as I know I didn’t show any signs or actions that would make them attracted to me….

Why is that whenever this happens I always feel this hurt??? Maybe I’ve doing something wrong??? I feel betrayed because I am a real friend and though friendship should be the base of deeper relationships but I never liked people who use friendship to make a move. I just feel annoyed every time this happens to me…

I don’t want to feel it but the more a friend pushes himself towards me the more I feel aloof with him… like I don’t wanna see him or talk to him or even hear his name anymore….

Maybe I’m not meant to marry anyone that's why I’m feeling like this towards these guys… I don’t know.

Sometimes I just want to be mad at guys like them…. sometimes I’m loosing my hope to find a brother I never had… I’m starting to lose the capability of trusting men…. I don’t like this feeling….

PLATONIC LOVE for me is not the problem… but when a guy uses it to go fish out something he wants from the beginning or uses it to take advantage of a girl’s goodness-- it's DESPICABLE!!!

I’m not mad at him but at what he did… I just want to take it all out of my brain………. and my heart. Thanks….