No matter how beautiful the beast, I shouldn’t have let myself get seduced by him because once I’ve come to my senses I’ll lost any chance I ever had of escaping.

To the beast that will bite me and make me bleed… and might even kill me in the end. Have I gotten so vulnerable that I’m in a position where I would all of myself to him?

The chomping of ears everyday… a hobby he quite enjoyed whenever he’s with the person he loves. It’s totally annoying. But the pain continuously sends unbearable sweetness and happiness in my heart…

"Is it fun for you to stir a man into bliss and then shoot him back down to hell? Do you enjoy watching me go out of my mind?

You make me want to swallow you whole even when you do nothing. What are you trying to do by provoking me on top of that?!

I’ll never let you go. Don’t even think about running away. Don’t give any other bastard as much as a glance.”

It’s not just because it’s him but also because I know that he’ll only show it to the "one”… his childishness, his freaking jealousy, his everything.

"I love you.” I thought I was already used to all these things, but I’ve been completely bewitched by that person everyday.Is this love? I kinda’ wonder. Is this even good for the health??? LoL ^_^

I used to think that I didn’t need anyone. I used to think that I could be complete all alone… I tried to shut my eyes to how frozen I was becoming from the cold shards of glass sinking down into my heart and blinding me.

I had nothing to be obsessed with, because I had no possessions. That was the only thing that comforted me against my fear of the dismal reality.

"Even if it weren’t for this coincidence, I would’ve tracked you down. I would have tracked you down and I would’ve tried everything to make you mine, like now. I love you and I won’t let you go now.” But I was so lonely. I was sad. I was desolate.

I was supposed to be complete, even when alone… but I just couldn’t be. I didn’t even have someone’s name to call out when I was all alone in the darkness. I wanted to tell that certain someone, because I only had one possession… because I only have myself to protect or lose. I clasped it tightly to my chest. I couldn’t afford anyone to take it away from me…

I wanted to tell that special person that I’ve only been gasping for breath on that painfully cold winter night, bundled up just like that. And that I never wanted to go back to that frozen, snow-covered world. And now, in this sudden twist of fate everything just changed. It changed in a mind-blowing way that if you have not hold on anything firm, you’ll be carried to the edge of a cliff.

I long for our hearts to thaw together, side by side, flushed red and pulsing with love… And soon, we’ll become one.

And even if fighting cannot be avoided, when he whispers such endearing words, no matter how rude his way is… anger melts away like the fast waves of the ocean.

"I dunno why the hell I get so hungry whenever I see you. Just once… if I could swallow you up in one bite, just once…I’d never wish for anything else.” It may sound cheesy and funny, but for someone like him whom everyone is afraid of, I can’t help but feel happy… and blessed.

His pure desire to possess me for himself… it’s not covered wrappings… and it doesn’t try to masquerade as something else. It shackles me down so forcefully that it doesn’t give me any room for emptiness or desolation to sneak their way in. I’d be lying if I said it never bugged me. But I find myself breathing a sigh of relief within his possessive grasp. This kind of satisfaction and security… it must be something that my past "someone” had also wanted from me.

Sharing a life with someone else… means, I’m not alone.

But those happy moments seems so far. It’s all in a blur since THAT person came. That person took care of him, taken him out of the streets, gave him clothes to wear, foods to eat…. That person was there when I was not.Taking quiet insults already gives someone’s heart so much hurt and uneasiness, but knowing that something happened between them, that something is probably still happening between them. and the thought of fright, angst every time… could you blame anyone when they give up?

"You of all people should know why I have no other choice than to do this and what I’m trying to hold onto.”

I do know. I know about those nights where for no reason; you can’t fall asleep… when you’re left all alone with nothing. I know about the emptiness that you can’t escape. It eats a way at you, making you feel like you have no one else in the whole world. But even so… you still have "yourself”. And I gave that to you… that’s why I can’t share you with anyone. Never.

Was asking him to stop seeing that person too much? He refused to let go yet he won’t say NO to that person. He had two hearts. No… he’s trying to split his heart into two. But no one could live with just half of it. And even when the words of farewell was uttered, he couldn’t say NO. He just stood there like a frozen lad who’s completely lost.

I didn’t know it was like this. I didn’t know. This proved to me that to forget, you have to do things… things that you wouldn’t do when you promised your love to that special person.

Is this the END? Is this how it’s supposed to be? I hope not. That person… he just need to say that he only have one love in his heart. He only has to give a certain sense of security…. To stop living in a way of holding everything he can, just to avoid loneliness. An apology. A new promise. One love. He just need to come and say he wants everything back…. Because after all, he’s the one that melted the heart that was once like a snow-filled, frozen land.