Why couldn’t I stop myself? It probably was stalker-ish of me. Stupid. Considering I hate stalkers myself. But I guess there are times in anyone’s life when they want to re-live moments that made them feel so... so alive. So I did it. And after over a decade I was able to find you. But even then I stopped myself from reaching out. Why? Maybe because I was afraid that what we had wouldn’t be enough? That maybe all of those moments— those feelings were just a childhood fantasy? I don’t know.

But what I do know is that, no matter how many times I say goodbye... you will always have a very special place in my heart.

You showed me romance ‘til I desired for nothing more.

You made me feel special ‘til I learned to truly love myself.

You inspired my mind ‘til words continuously flowed to the surface.

Above all, you showed me love ‘til I realized I couldn’t settle for anything less.

But fate cruelly played with us...

She pulled us apart one bit at a time

For years I fought for you and I know you did too.

I only survived the heartbreak just by thinking of you.

Your twinkling eyes as you tried to steal a glance over your food

Your lips as you gave me that mysterious smile that held promise

Your voice as you sang those heartfelt words

Your hands as you played your guitar with a serenade.

You are my first love and I do believe it’ll never die

Until then, all I can do is send prayers to the sky

For a gift of redemption that could bury this love alive.

Farewell my dear sweet love

For what we have is only

A forever that never was.

- Faye C.